Time to Vent ... again!

Ok so i know around the holidays a lot of families have to deal with the "fight" between who gets to see who on what day etc. I know I have had my share of this. I have had to sacrifice certain times, days etc with my family to spend time with his.

However, for Christmas, it actually works out bc I spend Xmas day with my family and his family does not meet on xmas day so it actually works out. I do usually have to give up my families tradition of xmas eve hordourves and gift opening, but thats my sacrifice.

This year, I have a baby and I really wanted Jae to be there for her on her first christmas. As we all know, he runs a business that is very holiday-centric. the holidays are NUTS and you cannot imagine unless you have been to his store on a holiday. Anyway, the day before any holiday is always the worst. He usually doesnt even come home and just sleeps at the store. The day of the holiday, he is always beat since he broke night but he always manages to be awake and enjoy anyway.

Last year for xmas eve, he was busy and i was preggers and i had to drive to the bronx myself. he ended up meeting up at the house much later on. he stayed for a short while and then it was time to leave. he was lucky last year to even have gotten out when he did but he rushed to get to the bronx in time for presents.

So this year, since xmas fell on a saturday, i was thinking of maybe meeting up with his family on sunday. this way, jae could actually enjoy the day without having to worry about work, or be tired. So I wrote my SILs an email. here is what i wrote:

hey sisters:

was wondering if you guys had anything planned for this xmas.... i was wondering if maybe we could celebrate on sunday? jae is busy friday and saturday and id like him to be able to enjoy the holidays for once with his family without having to think about work...and its also the babys first christmas so id like the whole Oh/Cho/Moon family to be together at the same time for once (without him coming in late, tired, cranky etc)....

i dont mind hosting...i will make some food and we can also cater in some. we can do lunch into dinner or whatever you guys want. or if you want to go to the bronx again, i dont mind but the only thing i ask is can we make it an early night? id still like to preserve the babys sleep as much as possible cuz my job is 10x harder when she doesnt get her sleep. sorry, im a bit anal about her sleep. hehe. if i host, you guys can comes as early or stay as late as you'd like... i dont know how you guys feel about this, or how your parents feel, but this is only a suggestion.... let me know what you guys think...

Here is the response I get back. My notes are in bold

Hey sisters
I know everyone has different schedules but I was at the Bronx yesterday and I spoke with our mom that we were all going over on the 24 for dinner cause that is really our tradition. I know its really hard jess but like you have in laws we do as well. That's why me and my sis usually go to the Bronx first cause we can't celebrate Christmas on Christmas day with them. I have to go to mass with Pauls mom on Christmas day and kathie unni goes to her in law as well. (What this have to do with anything? I know I have in laws. and I am not talking about spending time with you on xmas) I know its hard not being with our own families but being married we have to work around it I guess. (whats she talking about? I am not talking about not being with my family. I assume she things I am trying to maneuver their day to accomodate my family?) Lol. I already told mother that we were going over and she decided to make dinner for us. She knows that we all work that day and she offered to cook. I really don't want to disappoint her. (I guess shes not disappointed that her SON WONT BE THERE?) What do you think?

So now im super annoyed. Her email has nothing to do with my email. All I am asking is for one day for jae to enjoy the holidays with his OWN FAMILY. Not talking about me and maddie, but even his mom, dad and sisters. Is that too much to ask? I love how they do not even take JAe's schedule into account. They are meeting up with or without him. Isnt that fucked up? When he came home, i bitched to him about this. I told him it seems like he doesnt even matter in the family...and that no on cares what his plans are.

These are memories we cant get back. He will miss everything...and he will continue to miss it every year if something is not changed. If one of the sisters couldnt make it, you bet your ass it would have gotten rescheduled. Why is jae such a black sheep? I wish I was one of those wives who would stand by their man and not show up to show some solidarity, but alas, i'll be making this trip by myself to the effin bronx with a baby who hates the car seat. joy.

im just so annoyed...they totally missed the point. i never seen a holiday gathering like this where an immediate family member is missing like this and no one cares to reschedule. Whats the holidays about? Family and being together...and yet he wont even get to see them this year. WHAT THE FUCK? im so annoyed...im angry....and resentful. Why should Maddie be the only kid without her dad there? Why should he have to miss any of this when its not even necessary? We can all meet 2 days later and be TOGETHER. Am i being selfish? Or are they?

UGH!