so sometimes i follow this blog about this wife/mother who lost her very young husband to brain cancer. It was heartbreaking reading her story....and after my mom passed, i found her posts to be somewhat comforting. The other day she wrote this post, which i wanted to share. could this happen to me too? i will look out. her husband passed in august...and her psychic said her husband was with her in december. so 4 months. maybe my moms not with me now....but maybe by March, i will have her with me.


Spirits and readings and cars, oh my.
Dec 2 2009 11:52AM
Today's entry takes a little suspension of disbelief. And I'll say up front that I'm one of the most cynical and skeptical people out there, so keep that in mind.


It starts with a massage the week after Scott died.

My mom and I dropped off Logan at school and decided to treat ourselves to massages at my favorite place, the Urban Muse.

Now in addition to regualr "spa" experiences, the Muse also specializes in angel readings. mediums, reiki, etc.

I've never done any of those things. I've been to psychics in the past, and even though I've had some pretty amazing readings, I'm always still a little wary of the whole "business".

But on this particular day my masseuse was finishing my massage and she says to me "Do you mind if I ask you something?"

I was prepared for a sales pitch about what lotion or oil I need for my dry skin.

When I give her the go ahead, she says to me "I normally don't do this, but your aura is too strong. Have you had a recent loss?"

I kind of choke and say yes, my husband just passed.

She gives her condolences, then says "But that's not who I see."

"I see an older woman, curly black hair. She's a very strong presence around you right now. She keeps saying 'I love you, I love you, I love you' and telling you that you can do this. 'Atta girl'"

At that point I have no idea what to say, because she's just described my paternal grandmother to a T.

Her "thing" was to say "l love you, I love you, I love you." JUST like the woman said it. And she had short black curly hair, not a typical grandmom hairdo.

I told the woman that it sounded like my grandmother. She said it was normal for a previously passed spirit to come to you when someone close to you passes.

The newer spirit isn't strong enough to come yet, but someone "steps in" for them.

She didn't pressure me to get an angel reading or say anything "salesy". Just told me that I had a lot of spiritual help around me and whatever I believed in, God, a higher being, whatever, to make sure I kept an open mind in the upcoming months so I would invite Scott's spirit when he was ready.

She also told me to pick the time or place that was most special to us and to "listen" for the vibrations because that's when he would come to me.

She hugged me goodbye and told me to pray to the archangel Gabriel if I wanted more guidance and help.

And that was it.

Kind of creepy. My mom was totally freaked out when I told her.


I thought about it every now and then, but didn't think a whole lot about it until a couple weeks ago at my company's health fair.

The Urban Muse had a table at the health fair and they were giving free chair massages and angel readings.

My staff decided I NEEDED to have an angel reading and signed me up.

Well, I go to the table and sit down and it's the same woman who gave me a massage.

She told me I looked familiar and I told her I go to the Muse a lot, so maybe she had given me a massage before.

She asks if I have had an angel reading before and I told her no.

She explains that she will be using three decks of cards and a crystal and the angels would guide her to the correct deck and card to answer the question I had.

So she asked me to ask a question.

I told her my husband had passed away recently and the end was hard and I had to make a lot of decisions for him and I wanted to make sure I had made the right ones.

She stopped and looked at me and said "I remember you now. Your grandmother isn't with you anymore, but your husband is."

I'm a little taken aback, it was almost 3 months ago that she saw me.

She takes her crystal and waves it over each deck of cards. It reminds me of Charmed when the girls would scry for something.

She picks her deck, then starts to go through the cards, one by one.

She stops on one and turns it over. It's the Angel of Knowledge. She says to me that as long as I made decisions with all the knowledge that was available to me - medical, physical, spiritual, I did the right thing.

I feel oddly comforted about that.

At this point, my "free" reading is over and it's someone else's turn. The Manager comes over and tells the woman that it's time to move to someone else, they have a lot of people signed up.

She tells her she will be done with me in just a minute.

Then she says to me, quietly "I need to pull another card for you. There is something else he's trying to tell you."

The next card she pulls is the card of music. She asks me if I played music for Scott throughout his sickness.

I get a bit nauseous at this one, because I played music for him the whole time he was in the hospital, right up to the point where he stopped breathing.

She says that to feel his presence more and to make sure he can continue to come to me I have to keep playing music that meant something to us.

She also says that he will send me messages through music - to listen for any song patterns - songs that come in threes for me.

"In fact," she says, "make sure you pay attention to anything that comes in threes to you - an image, a song, a word even. That's your husband telling you something."

She's almost yelling this to me by this time, because the manager has come over twice to tell her it's time to stop with me and move on to someone else.

I'm feeling guilty for hogging her, but she won't let me leave. She tells me once more to pay attention to any recurring themes.

I have to run upstairs to a meeting and I go on with the rest of my day.

That day on the way home, I'm flipping through the radio stations as we are stuck in traffic and the song "I Hope You Dance" comes on.

I honestly don't think a thing about it. I like the song, I haven't heard it in a while.

The next morning we get in the car to go to school, and it's on again. Different station.

It registers in my brain that it's kind of odd to hear it twice, but I dismiss it.

Guess what song is on in my employee's office when I get to work that morning? Yep. It's on her ipod playlist and it happens to be playing when I go in there.

Okay. Weird. And I've continued to hear it over and over. In restaurants. In stores. On the radio.

Maybe it's just coincidence. Maybe it's a message. I don't know. But it's definitely made me think.

And I've also been paying attention to other things in threes as well.

The most notable of which came last week when I finally donated Scott's car to the MS Society.

A tow truck came to get it, since the battery died.

Logan and I were JUST about to get in the car to go to work and school when it pulled up.

To a two year old boy, getting to watch a tow truck is like Santa Claus coming, so we got out of the car and watched.

I explain to Logan that we are saying goodbye to Daddy's car and giving it to someone else who needs it.

He gets really upset with me. "NO! DADDY NEEDS IT!"

I explain to him that Daddy can't drive it anymore since he died. Logan bursts into tears and says "I Want Daddy to Get Better and Come Back."

The tow truck driver gives me a look, I just keep paying attention to Logan.

I explain again that since daddy got sick and died he can't talk to us anymore or do the things he used to do, including driving the car.

Logan nods and looks at me through big blue tear filled eyes. "But we look at pictures of him, right mommy?"

My heart is breaking into five million little pieces, but I say "Yes, we can look at pictures."

Then Logan says "Okay. We can give the car to other daddies."

Sweet kid.

So we watch the tow truck driver again, as he's gotten the car about 95% up on the flatbed.

Suddenly there is a BANG and the Lincoln goes rolling into the middle of my backyard.

We all freeze and the tow truck guy says "Oh my god. It broke the chain. That's never happened before."

I say nothing.

Logan applauds.

The guys maneuvers the car back to the driveway and hooks it up to a different set of chains. The ones they use for heavy-duty equipment.

The car again gets halfway up the flatbed. This time the trunk flies open and the front wheels get stuck on the edge of the flatbed.

The guy looks at me and half jokingly says "This car does not want to leave."

Again, I have a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I take a deep breath and I say outloud, to myself "It's just a car. It doesn't mean anything. It doesn't mean we are forgetting."

I realize as I'm saying this that it's as much to Scott as it is to myself. I feel embarrassed to even be saying that, but it's true.

The guy finally gets it up on the flatbed and I sign the title over to him. He gets in his truck and leaves.

Logan and I pile into the car to go to school and work, which I'm now late for yet again.

And the tow truck is in front of us for a good 3 miles.

Logan is saying "Bye daddy's car!" over and over.

I'm trying not to lose it as I drive.

I'm just kind of freaked out over the whole thing.


So there you have it. My freaky story of spirits and readings and cars, oh my.