We have a big problem. Maddie still hates the carseat. Its getting worse too....she is crying at the top of her lungs...crying so hard she can't breathe. thrashing her fists on the carseat. It's torture sitting in the car with her. We're not even going far...maybe a 10 minute drive. I dont know whats wrong. We thought maybe her puffy jacket was making her uncomfortable, so we removed the jacket. We thought maybe her car seat was getting too small for her, so we switched her to the convertible car seat. We tried everything and she still hates it. I Can only guess she either hates to be strapped in or she hates moving backwards. Sigh....we take her out everyday just to try to get her used to it but its not helping in the least. I feel so bad cuz she is not even a crier to begin with. I feel like when we purposely take her out, we are purposely upsetting her.

10/19 switched to big girl car seat
10/22 switched to big girl stroller seat

Today we decided to take her for a walk. We switched to the big girl stroller seat in case she was just too small for the old car seat which was placed on top of the stroller. She still cried. Not for too long...but she cried and looked uncomfortable. Not sure what the problem is but i would love to have this cleared up asap. I feel like we can't go anywhere or do anything. Car rides with her are torturous. This is the reason why i havent even driven by myself with her. I dont think i could take the crying on my own. Serioulsy, its so loud jae and i cant even talk to one another or we'd be shouting. we just sit there, listening to her wail, waiting for the car ride to end.

Anyway, maddie seems to be staying up a bit longer between naps these days. Today she did a stretch of 2.5 hours without being too fussy. shes usually asleep about an hour and a half after she wakes. This would be great cuz then we could take her more places and stay out for longer.

Shes getting super cute....i love spending time with her when shes happy. Shes such a good baby, aside from her fussy times. I guess since shes usually so happy, its hard for me to understand her when shes fussy. Its also hard to deal with a fussy baby, when you also have to work, pay bills, throw a load of laundry in, find time to eat and pee in between it all, all while carrying her bc she wont let you put her down. I understand, shes a baby...but its annoying and hard on me because im not used to it. My brother always says "shes just a baby" as if that justifies it. I dont believe it does. Yes, she is a baby but that doesnt make it right. I know a lot of people like my brother - people who dont speak from experience but think they know the answer. I was probably one of those people. BUT what i can say, its a whole different story when youre on the other side.

I still remember when i told my brother that Maddie was growing by leaps and bounds and i asked the pediatrician if she was going to be obese as an adult. My brother scoffed and called me ignorant. First, it was a joke....but secondly, im not sure why that was so ignorant. Poor adult habits can stem from when they are newborns. For eaxample, if a baby does not learn proper self soothing skills for sleep as babies, as adults, they often have a type of insomnia. In more severe cases, this actually can turn into mental illness. Seriously! Also, there is a correlation between bottle fed babies and weight. They tend to be more overweight as adults. Why? Because the bottle is a quick meal. They dont need to work to eat, they get food fast, and they dont learn how to stop when they are full. Breastfed babies work to eat, when they are full, they stop (when the hindmilk comes in is their trigger), and they learn to eat small meals throughout the day. When I asked my pediatrician about maddie's weight, i just wanted to make sure she was okay. And in my defense, after he said this, literally the next day I read an article in PArents magazine entitled "Is your baby too big" and they went on to say "Children who were overweight or obese at age 10 began gaining excess pounds when they were, on average, only 3 months old and more than half of them were overweight by their second birthday". Umm hello brother! All i can say is, when he has a baby....he will know. And then i'll be the one scoffing!

Motherhood is hard. Rewarding, yes, but hard. I also find it sometimes to be very lonely. I mean that in a way where theres no one i can trust but myself. I find that other mothers often give me wrong advice. Mothers of 1, or 3 doesnt matter - i have received ill advice from all of them. The only person i can trust is myself to do whats right for my own child. What works for one person, doesnt work for another, so its up to me to find the right answer. I also never comment on another persons child. For example, my friends baby is 7 months and he still wakes up 3 times a night to eat. I know for a fact that boy is not hungry and is only waking out of habit. But I would never say anything to my friend...its not my business. But should I? I could totally help her...i could give her step by step instructions on how to get him to sleep through the night....but i still dont feel this is my place to say anything to her. This is her 2nd kid too... and not for nothing, but i've heard her say some totally incorrect things about birth and motherhood. But im sure she believes she is doing the right thing, and its not my place to interfere with that. Like I say "you worry about you, i worry about me". Anyway, this post was all over the place...sort of like my life right about now. It's a messy chaos but its also a fun chaos as well.