I sit here, still in my PJS, dying to pee. but yet i come on to blog bc maddie is sleeping and this may be my only chance to vent all day! i really need this...so here we go.

I really HATE working from home with the baby. People will tell me its a great opportunity. and yes, it is. but more than that, i see it as me being terrible to both jobs.

This past month has been really rough. Maybe bc Maddie is becoming more active, needing more, or whatever, but i cant seem to function. I feel like my head is chopped off and im just running around, not getting anything done.

It would help if this kid would nap longer...but she doesnt. today, I put her down at 8:50a. I had time to microwave some food and pump from one boob. Then she was up. I wanted to cry. I had so much work to do....but alas, I had to get her, feed her boob, change her, feed her solids, then play with her till just now when i put her down for the next nap. I managed to do a bit of work in between then, but there are other things I need to do that require more of my attention. I really hate this.

Right now, i could be doing so many things. Folding the laundry sitting in the laundry room, eating, pumping, working, emailing my personal emails, making maddie food. Which one do i choose?

I only have time to update a status facebook when i breastfeed bc there is nothing else for me to do. but i dont have time to scroll through all my friends updates so i feel really out of the loop.

i feel gross, sitting in my pjs right now. i should change. but eating comes first, bc i wont get another chance until much later. then pumping bc maddie needs her milk. then work. if she doesnt wake up by then.

today i must make maddie some chicken...so i need to roast then and put it into a soup and puree. i wish i had bought some jarred food. i also need to make banana bread bc maddie didnt finish 3 bananas and they are black as all hell now so i need to use them before they go to waste.

i have a ton of personal email to go through. you know, if i dont get to email my friends, its a BAD day. i am usually very responsive.

I have to pay off: oil bill ($1000+), half year tax bill ($2500+), home insurance ($1500+) and mortgage (you dont even want to know), by this week. ARGHHHHHHHHH! My checkbook has been out for days, but i havent had time to write the damn check.

I might be able to catch up on some stuff this weekend, only....I have a baby shower to go to on saturday. ARGHHHHHHHH!

I have some work expenses I need to submit, again, no time.

Heres what my bedroom looks like now. I HATE when it gets like this..all jumbled up. Too much stuff going on. When my house is messy, it tends to be that my life is messy as well.

Bills that needs to be paid, magazines i need to go through for work, checkbook out, receipt for work expenses.


babylegs i need to send to a friend, pumped milk that i have not yet refrigerated, dirty plate i need to throw away and yet more magazine stuff i need to do for work


ok...i took big chance in writing this. i really need to get moving now, before she wakes up again.