what a week. i was exhausted. in between shuffling between the hospital and work (on the same days), dave and hiu coming over and staying till 1AM last tuesday, my mom's memorial at her old school, dinner out Friday with the sister and brother in law - with starbucks afterwards, and my eating schedule being all off, i was exhausted! i usually wake up between 7-7:30 AM no problem...weekday or not. i dont need an alarm clock. But saturday, i woke up at 10AM! wow, this hasn't happened in a very long time. I was shocked. I guess my body needed rest.

Another contributing factor to me being so tired is that last week i got the call from my doctor that some of my bloodwork came in and it showed that I am anemic. I have to start taking iron pills...twice a day. supposedly i was really low. that could explain why i've been feeling tired, yet every person i spoke to said "oh you should be less tired now that you're out of the first trimester right?". also my pale ass lips. i also did notice that my heart often beat so fast...i thought it was perhaps due to me drinking or eating something with caffeine in it. but if you have anemia, then the heart just pumps fasted to try to get blood to the body. the doctor said i should get more energy back after i take the pills so lets see.

in order to help my iron absorption, you should take it on an empty stomach with orange juice. the vitamin C helps the absorption. i've also been trying to get more iron in foods. i made a 2 bean chili this weekend which i mix up with some quinoa pasta. i also made a miso soup with tofu and udon noodles. i also picked up some fortified cereals.



umm yes there are more noodles than soup. dont judge!


my appetite has increased greatly this last week. it seems no matter what i eat, i can never be full. this morning i have already had:

- 1 cinnamon raisin toast with butter
- 1 egg salad sandwich on ww
- 1 ziploc bag of homemade popcorn
- 1 rice cake with peanut butter
- 1 clementine

and its only 11:30 AM.

ok so i think im 75% sure these feelings in my belly are the baby moving. they are different than gas... they feel like tiny bubbles popping. or like some books say, popcorn popping. i am still waiting for that really big kick when i can 100% say it was the baby!

things i am eating now

- a shitton of soups. im in such a soup crazy lately.
- ice cream. dont think this has to do with pregnancy though. currently i am really enjoying weight watchers chocolate and cookies n cream ice cream bar. so good. i think i have one every night.



-chicken gyros with greek salad (no feta)

-green cactus. namely their cactus salada. i love green cactus so much (theres one a few blocks from my office!)


why do all my blogs end up turning into a food blog. grrr.

17 weeks

my baby is the size of a.....



TURNIP!

well, im feeling tired. sleeping is tossing and turning sometimes. i know i am not in a deep sleep. my snoogle, which jae got my for christmas, helps but doesnt do the trick. sometimes its on the floor in the morning, or i wake up and im not even on it anymore.



i used to be such a deep sleeper...once my head hits the pillow, i am out till the morning. no pee break, no dreams, no waking up. now, i feel myself half awake in the night, it goes away in seconds, but this happens throughout the night.

Other symptoms include sweaty pits. yuck! i was always one who never had to deal with this problem. but it seems i can walk 20 feet and the pits of my shirt are wet. so gross!! also, speaking of wet...well, i wont get into that. TMI!

I THINK i felt the baby yesterday. it felt like little bubbles popping in my belly. it lasted 2 seconds. then later on at night i was lying down, and i felt them again. but it was so quick, i dont know if im imagining them or not. When i went for my last sonogram, the technician told me I was carrying towards the front, meaning there was more cushion between the baby and my stomach, thus i would feel the baby move later than most people. Most people feel the baby move during 16-22 weeks. I am only at 17, so i figured i wouldnt feel the baby move for another 5 weeks or so. who knows, maybe its just gas?

as an non-pregnant person, i would always say how cool it was that you could feel a baby move inside you. now that i am a pregnant person, im scared! haha. i dont know of what.... but when i think about possibly feeling a kick from something growing inside me, i get nervous. maybe it then becomes too real?

weeks 12-15 i was feeling gross. i wasn't accepting my belly...i looked fat and clothes didn't fit. I was wearing a lot of hoodies. I was feeling really out of sorts. But then, I looked in the mirror one day and that all went away! haha. i finally found a pair of jeans that were comfortable and actually fit! (Thanks MeeJin!). But now, I realized, I love my bump. My bump is more defined today...not as much of a blob. I wear more clothes that fit over the bump, instead of trying to hide it. I guess I wear my belly like a badge of honor. My belly badge.

what ive been eating lately:

Fried rice, duk gok (i have no idea why it looks so white in this pic) and momma oh's dumplings (which apparently i was supposed to fry). sorry, but korean dumplings are not as good as chinese ones.


shrimp and corn cakes with guacamole. lots of guacamole.


I forgot to upload my baby ultrascreen. heres my baby moving like crazy. i cant believe i dont feel any of this... 12 weeks and 5 days. (fyi, the baby was moving constantly but the technician was pausing and slowing down the screen).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKm7TQz0wX4

wow, time seems to by flying faster now. i didnt even check to see what size my baby was last week (an apple).

Today I look at it's the size of an avacado! its about 3.5 ounces, not even a pound yet (but i feel so huge). his/her eyes and ears are moving to their right spots and he/she is growing toenails.



I am still feeling pretty good. Tiredness comes and goes. I feel I am getting fat though! Whenever i eat too much, I feel my stomach skin stretching. please, no stretch marks! I do use a cream every morning and night even though they say this doesn't help.

My body overall feels good but i go through many bouts of feeling sore, or achy all over. I have to do stretches at my desk or at home to feel loose again. Too much tension up in there.

I gained 8 lbs in the first trimester but was only really supposed to gain 5. so i am 3 lbs overweight. I am to gain 1 pound a week until the very end. If I stay on this, i will gain about 35 lbs. Not too bad, i definetely don't want to go over this.

Seven ways to prepare yourself for labor:

1. balance your diet
2. attend a class
3. stay active, even a 10 minute walk a day will help
4. Kegels...
5. squat, tilts and stretches.
6. get your rest
7. relax your body and mind

yesterday jae and i spent some time looking at baby stuff. we first went to babies r us and then buy buy baby. i liked buy buy baby so much more. but i was totally overwhelmed with all the stuff. just...stuff. lots and lots of stuff. pack n plays, jumpers, swings, exersaucers, strollers, car seats, and gadgets, healthcare, bottles. i have no idea where to start. it was crazy...but we just went to get ourselves familiar with things. one area where jae spent a lot of time was the stroller section. why? i have no idea. he was more intrigued with the wheels and "rims" and the way the item looked rather than the features and functions. by the time we left, we had 3 in mind we expected to look at further down the road.

we went to red lobster for dinner (horrible).... by the time we went to bed, jae had figured out which one he wanted. The uppababy. secretly its the one i wanted all along anyway... muhahah.

more weird dreams. they are getting freaky.

1. Sorry MeeJin but we were showering together last night. We were going for the same job I think. I don't know how this correlates to us showering together. I didnt see anything, truly....i barely saw your face, but we were there together. I stepped out to start reading my book club book. weird i know. i turned around and only saw your right thigh and i saw a birthmark there. Please tell me you don't have a big birthmark on your right thigh? Well, that was the end of that dream.

2. Next, Cindy told me "i think it worked". meaning, she was preggers this month! Let's see if it comes true.

3. Weirdly, i dreamt about my mom. In my dream, I knew she had been taken to the hospital and passed away. But I stepped into my grandmas house, and there she was in her famous pink robe, stepping out of the bathroom. Her face was so pretty, young, pale, but so clear. I see her face so clearly.. and the look she was given to me as we caught our stares. She didn't remember me. Instantly, I fell to the ground in misery. In my mind, I was thinking, shes alive but she doesn't know who i am. That was sad =(

4. Had my first dream about the baby. I dreamt I was out of control but forcing myself back into control. I think the baby was crying. ALl I remember was feeling frustrated but trying to remind myself of what to do next.

5. I was romantically involved with someone.... he was half Jae and half The Situation from the Jersey Shore. I kid you not. His name was Robert.

OMG this is all so freaky to me because again, I never remember my dreams. I'm going nuts with all these weird dreams.

Anyway, I said i wouldn't do it, but i got into maternity clothes. Ack! It was kind of fun finding things that fit over my belly. My worst enemy are the pants. I can't find any pants that fit me right. They are all too big. My doctor suggested adjustable pants, but I don't see any.

in terms of tops, here are some i picked up.

i wonder why this item is always under the maternity section. they sell this for regular people and i assume its the exact same item...yes?


this cheap shirt from old navy (9 bucks) is a good one to have. it fits right over the belly perfectly without squeezing it.


i originally picked up this dress for jaes dads 70th bday party, but it turns out we have to wear our hanboks all day!


i got work pants like these from gap. they are really nice, flared and comfortable but they are still a bit big on me


i went shopping at destination maternity today. i was highly disappointed. i wasnt happy with any of the selection, although i did walk out with a pair of jeans which look decent.

I actually think H&M has the best maternity choices right now. Gap is a close second.

After all this, i decided to just look through my regular clothes closet and i actually found some long tops and flowy tops i think can pass as maternity clothes anyway....soooooo, i will be more practical and smart about this and not buy so much new stuff.

15 weeks and 1 day

Dr.s Appt this AM. Heartbeat is doing well. yay! I am up 9 lbs. (gained 4 since the last appointment). Not good, but not terrible. at this rate, i think i will have gained 40 lbs. so i need to try to control myself a little better.

I find out the gender February 18th!

totally having weird dreams. last night had dreams about people i went to elementary school with. so random!

nails are growing super fast, still hairy like the yeti.

belly is popping out but i dont think its normal. pants are uncomfortable but maternity pants are too big.

trying to stay on a good diet. been making a fruit smoothie every morning with just fruit and milk. its good and it lets me get some good nutrients in, including my dreaded enemy, milk. i walked 3 times last week in the park as well, in the freezing cold. it felt great. only wish i could get out there more often. hopefully when the weather gets better.

hair and nails are growing super fast! hair, especially. in ALL places.

officially in the i-look-weird/clothes-dont-fit-right/self-conscious stage right now and its annoying. everything makes me look fat, and nothing fits. i am in between looking fat and preggers. my ass and thighs are expanding and my boobs have shrunk. what is going on?

had 2 bad dreams the past 2 nights. first one there was blood all over my underwear. barefoot contessa (i kid you not) told me to not worry but i should see a doctor asap. she tapped my belly and it made a loud popping sound. weird. second dream, someone in my family passed away. why do i have to dream such bad things? i never remember my dreams. i hope its just baby stuff and not bad omens to come.

new years was very relaxing. i was in albany and all i did was veg on the sofa. it felt nice. when im home, im rarely sitting. always something to do. jae got some much needed rest and we spent it with dave and judy. we ate red robin, dennys, chinese take out and cracker barrel. it was nice.

but today is the 2nd and its back to the daily grind. i am making a pot of homemade chicken soup. i went food shopping, laundry is being washed as i type. jae is back at work and i plan to exercise today as well as clean the house and start taking down some christmas ornaments.

goals for the new year:

eat healthy
exercise more
be more financially responsible
drink actual milk (instead of yoo hoo. ha!)