got my 2nd paycheck today since being on maternity leave. man it feels good to get paid again. its just sitting in my account but it just feels good to have. returning to work in 2 weeks. still waiting on my disability checks. long story. GRRR.

I feel like MAddie is growing everyday. Everyday, something new happens. I look at her and realize how much she is learning and growing. Sometimes I hold her close to me and wonder how she could ever have been in my tummy. In her room, I sit in the rocking chair a lot holding her. She loves to look up at the 6 sonogram pictures I have hanging up in white frames. I dont know why, but she is always staring at them...and laughing and smiling to herself. maybe shes vain...like me. haha.

What i love about her:
- her hands. they are so wrinkly and feminine. She does really cute things with them to. She is always moving her hands. Currently, the normal hand position is in a fist with her thumb between her index and middle finger. But when she eats or when we're playing with her, she does a lot of things with her hands. When her pinky goes up, its the cutest.

- her feet. who doesnt love baby feet. I put them all over my cheeks and let her kick me in the face.

- her smile. she is always smiling if you talk to her. it does make a bad day much better. she is very receptive to people. i hope it lasts.

- her eyes. they are always looking and observing. she has really cute facial expressions. i love when she raises her eyebrows and her eyes get big like shes surprised or intrigued.

- her lips. they are really feminine and cute and she does funny things with them. especially when you take a pacifier out of her mouth. she has a cute yawn too, where her lower lip comes up in front of her uppper lip which makes her cheeks like super big like a chimpmunk.

she is a super active baby. leave her lying on a flat surface and she will go buck wild with her arms and legs. she will continue to kick the flat surface over and over again. is this every baby? she wont stay still.

she also stretches - a lot - ever since we came home. a funny thing she does is after every diaper change, as i put her legs down to put on the new diaper, she will give a big stretch and her toes and everything are all stretched out. she even does this in the middle of the night in her sleep. weird.

she does have her fussy moments, but there are a lot of good things about her too like how she NEVER cries when you change her diaper. i know a lot of babies who cry when this happens. She also was always a great sleeper at night....so as soon as she would eat, she would hit the sack. only a handful of times has she cried before bed. also in the middle of the night, i never had to stay up with her. she would eat and go back to sleep. i know some moms who have to feed and then stay up with the baby for an hour. maddie never confused day and night.

her sleeping has been my biggest problem which i will put right up there with the challenge of breastfeeding. but i know in time, this will get better. she will start to sleep longer naturally and start to make her own schedule. so i do see a light at the end of the tunnel.

for now, just gotta worry about how i will deal with her while still working.