well looks like this baby will officially be a July baby!

yesterday morning i woke up, moved my leg and got a big leg cramp. do you know what it feels like to get a leg cramp and not be able to reach to hold or massage your leg. so instinctively, i try to grab for my leg, but of course, im too big to do so. so i basically lay there in pain until it subsides. Sad.

last night, i was awoken at 3:30 AM by a contraction. wow, this was definitely worse than the ones i felt on Monday but still bearable. I tried to fall back asleep but there was no mistaking that these were stronger. I ended up going to the bathroom and then walking around the bedroom. I guess this woke Jae up...he asked if i was ok and I said I was fine and i'll wake him if i need him. I went downstairs to time these and decided to watch TV and lay on the sofa. They were stronger but still no defined pattern. At about 5AM, I decided to try to sleep. I woke up at again at6AM when Jae left for work and then went back to sleep from 6-9AM. I woke up this morning and the contractions are gone. Just like on Monday-Tuesday. Grrrr. However, i do know per my last drs appt that these epsiodes are doing something - dialating, effacing or pushing the baby down. So at least i think she is making SOME progress.

It's funny how when im feeling normal, all i want to do is meet her. I stand up, try to walk and stay active (I vacuumed my house everyday since being home) attempting to let gravity take its course. But then at the sight of a contraction, my whole body goes numb and i feel nervous and scared...like "omg this could be it".

Anyway, i've been thinkig a lot about the labor and what i would hope to happen. I'm not opposed to drugs to relieve pain, but at the same time, there are many reasons to forgo it.

Reasons to not get an epidural:

1. recovery i think is much better
2. you are not out of it afterwards, neither is the baby
3. epis can sometimes slow labor down
4. I am unsure of any side effects of the meds. I dont usually take much medicine ever. Not even aspirin.
5. if you get any epi you cant leave the bed since your legs are numb. i think id want to be mobile or at least have the choice.

I think there are many valid reason to NOT get an epidural but i am a selfish person and if the pain is bad, i think i would want to be put out of my misery. I can only go by the situation. I will labor and see what happens and take it from there.