so, im a mommy!

Madelyn was born on July 3rd...after 20 hours of labor and an emergency c section. I had stopped dialating at 7 cm. I am still sad I did not actually get to push...I had really wanted to give birth naturally. I did not expect a c section at all. I skipped all the chapters in the books about c sections. But Maddie passed meconium inside and so she had to come out. Because of her size, they also said that going naturally was probably not likey, not to mention that she was also sunny side up.

Well, my little girl gave me major problems during labor, but she is actually a very good, calm baby. The worst part so far has been the breastfeeding. After a rough 2 weeks, I thnk we are finally getting the hang of it.

C section recovery they said takes about 6 weeks, but i think i recovered pretty quickly at 2 weeks. I was off pain meds at 1.5 weeks. And i finally have time to update this blog! So things are slowly falling into place.

Dont get me wrong, the recovery was bad. The hospital was awful. I was there for way too many days, got hives all up my back (allergic to something, not sure what), and couldnt even get out of bed. The first pee was like a blood bath. I stood up and there was literally a pool of blood around my feet. Currently, it is still like I have a light period...clotting and all. I am not sure how long this lasts but cant wait till it goes away. When I came home, I was still on much pain medication. But slowly the pain started to go away. Breastfeeding in pain in the middle of the night was awful.

Oh yes, lets talk about the nights. The nights when I have to wake up to feed. Luckily, she is good baby. BUT we were very sleep deprived the first week. I mean dead tired. It's starting to look up lately....she gives us about 2-3 hours of sleep in between feedings right now. Poor Jae has to go through that and then still go to work the next morning. Hopefully, her sleep periods will continue to increase.

She also already went through her first growth spurt, which made her feed every 2 hours (killer!) and also be fussy and not sleep as much. I think its starting to fade away though.

Jae has been so fun to watch as well. He is actually really good with her, and will wake up in the middle of the night to calm her down. He loves his little girl and takes every chance he can to play with her. He was extremely supportive during my break down breastfeeding days. I really dont know how I would have done this without him. He really does have the patience when it really counts.

As for my little Maddie...at first I never got that overwhelming love that you read about in the books. She was a baby, and it didnt quite hit me that she was mine. That she came out of my belly. She was something that was feeding all the time....and sometimes I admit I even got frustrated at her even though the feeding woes werent her fault. But now that things are getting better, I am really starting to enjoy her and take her all in. I can look at her and make that connection that she is my daughter. She is super cute, smiles whenever shes happy and can just sit and play by herself, giving jae and I some time to ourselves. She is only 2 weeks old today and I look forward to seeing what the next weeks bring.

I still cant believe all 9 lbs of her was inside me! BTW, 1.5 weeks after birth, i lost a little over 20 pounds. 20 more to go!