34 Weeks

this week my baby is the size of:



a cantaloupe

anyway, my symptoms this week are best put by another blog i was reading. I couldn't have said it better myself, so I will just copy and paste her words.

Swelling: Everyone knows that swelling occurs during pregnancy. I’ve done my best to fend it off, but of course I’ve still fallen victim to it’s pudgy claws. Still there has been some swelling that I haven’t expected.

Namely, swelling of the vahj.

Uh…how’d I miss the memo on this one? Who forgot to tell my about the ridiculous puffiness of my lady parts? If there wasn’t a huge freakin’ belly in the way, I’d almost certainly have a F.U.P.A. simply because of the crazy swelling happening down there. Where does this come from? Why does this happen? Why did no one warn me? How is traditional underwear meant to contain such a thing? I was unprepared for this side effect, to say the least.

Aches & Pains: Yeah, I knew about the achy back. EVERYONE knows about the achy back. And sure, I’ve had an achy back. Especially at night. Sleeping comfortably through the night is a dream that died hard.

But I expected that achiness. What I didn’t expect was a crotch that felt like it had been repeatedly kicked with a pair of soccer cleats.

My crotch hurts, like, all the time. But it hurts especially bad at night. It causes me to waddle during the day, wince every time I stand up, cringe when I get in and out of the car, and nearly lose my balance from the sudden pain that occurs when I get up from bed in the middle of the night to pee. This crotch pain is RIDICULOUS. And why does my crotch hurt? Because my kid is literally moving my pelvis apart right now, and his head has apparently taken up residence on my crotch.

Good times.

what else? itchy skin.... i feel like i want to rip my skin off sometimes. its this one patch on my belly that really bothers me. only something cold against it helps. and also sometimes in the morning, i blow my nose and theres blood. i've never had a bloody nose in my life so this is horrific to me. but totally normal.

Getting Ready for Baby:
-quite surreal. I didnt realize all the stuff I needed for her. I forgot to register for sleeping gowns so I had to order some myself today. I did laundry. lots of laundry. never realized how small a side snap shirt was until i took it out of the dryer. smaller than a beanie baby, about the size of one of the steps on my staircase



its not only clothes and blankets and sheets i washed. i had to wash the bouncer cover, the snuzzler, the boppy covers, the stuffed animals...all the things that will touch her skin. i keep finding more and more things to wash.


we tested out the video monitor to make sure it works. pretty cool.

we put together her pack n play the other day. what i thought was just an easy assembly turned out to be longer than we thought and jae is REALLY Good at these things. lol.


i started packing my hospital bag....(my packing list)



cant believe May is almost over.

May was an expensive month. OMG i cant believe how money just flew out of our pockets. Heres the breakdown of everything we spent:

1. court date - $25 bucks
2. mothers day - $100 to grandma, $100 to momma oh plus scratch offs
3. mothers day cards and scratch offs to cousins - $20
4. Book Club dinner - $25 transportation, $20 dinner?
5. Aunt's 60th birthday party - $100 bucks
6. Brother's 30th bday gifts - $200
7. dinner with Julie - $40
8. Cousins shower gifts - $75
9. Hiu's bday gift plus dinner - $200
10. SIL's lunch out for birthday - $60
10. Momma Oh's Birthday gift plus dinner - TBD - ~250
11. Cousins wedding - $300

thats about $1500 bucks in one month on miscellaneous items. and im sure there are more since i practically lived in babies r us this month. and this doesnt even include our usual expenses, like weekly groceries. geez. our cash envelope is empty now. =( but this has happened before so its back to building up our supply. good times.

working from home today so i promised myself i would go walk. better go now while the sun is not as hot.

ok here are some videos of my belly moving. its not that great. everytime I press record, she simmers down, but these were the best i could get over the past few weeks.







this is all pretty mild to what it could be.... see this youtube video of this other random lady. DAMN you can see body parts and all!

YOU TUBE VIDEO OF ALIEN BABY

and my belly button is fighting to pop out..(sorry to post pics of a bare belly, i know its gross)

so as it turns out the topic of my uncle divorcing a wife and then having his girlfriend at my shower seemed to be a popular one amongst a few people. i wonder why this is... is it because we are talking about a divorce within an asian family? is it because the girlfriend is white? is it because the exwife is present? maybe a combo of all 3?

my family has had a few divorces and some other ones involve caucasian women so maybe this doesnt phase me as being particular. i am not sure what seemed to ignite curiosity from other people. if someone asked, "who is that?" the answer will never be "jessica's aunt". it will always be "jessica aunt who is divorced from her uncle. and thats his white girlfriend over there". is this a normal reaction? or a gossipy one? if it were me and i attended someones shower other than family, i dont think i would even care whos who. i never went to a shower before where i wondered who was who. i just spoke to who i knew and who i was introduced to. is it just me? if i went to someone elses shower, why would i care who this stranger is married or not married to?

what i can understand is maybe the fact that my aunt is there at the same time as the girlfriend. but this is my aunt ive known since i wsa a baby. we were close and she spent every sunday with us. even lived with us for 1 year while their house was being renovated. i consider the girlfriend to be the "outsider", not my aunt. my aunt is invited to all our family occassions... just because shes divorced, does that mean she shouldnt be allowed? some say yes, some say no. this is how my family chooses to do things, so not sure why it is anyone elses business.

i guess im just trying to understand why this caused such a stir....if my family dont care, then why does anyone else? the funny thing is, it seemed to be a topic of conversation but every version i heard had something untrue as a part of it. this annoys me even more, cuz if you're gonna talk, at least get the facts straight. right?

32 and 33 weeks

I didnt blog last week... last week my baby was the size of a


a jicama.

and this week, the baby is the size of a



a pineapple.

only 7 more fruits to go. hehe.

well, crotch is still sore. i feel like i waddle now. i am really trying to stay active but even going up stairs leaves me huffing and puffing. I have been trying to take a video of my belly moving, but somehow everytime i turn the camera on, she stops. and when i turn it off, she moves again. what gives?!

sleeping still equals tossing and turning. sleeping with a pillow between the legs, and also slightly elevating the belly is a must.

I cant believe time is going by so fast. I'm not ready! and yet, i want it to be here already. Still trying to enjoy the last month or so of freedom i have left and yet no energy to do anything. what a catch-22 my whole life is.

I have a CPR class tonight and my notes say to pack hospital bag. WTF? already? i dont even know what to pack. omg...

in the middle of pediatrician interviews. how does one choose?

lots to do....

when i put a busy week behind me, there just seems to be another busy week ahead of me.

good news is, we finished lamaze class! yay! roughest week ever. didnt see jae that much, had a few classes to go to, flushing store opened, mothers day backlash etc. but we got through it. whew!

up next...saturday is P's black belt test and Aunt's surprise 60th bday party. Sunday i am skipping grandmas and we are going to do all the things we couldnt do this month. lots of household stuff...too many to list here.

On Monday my little brother turns 30!!! he is in florida celebrating though so we will celebrate sometime next week.

Hiu's belated birthday dinner. cant wait for this....yummmm...

I have 2 more classes to go to next week.

Dinner with Julie.

C's baby shower.

after that, i think i am good for a while. (even though i do have pediatrician interviews as well as SIL and MIL's birthdays this month).

at work we are busy preparing for my maternity leave. lots of stuff left to do, lots to train. but CANNOT wait to get out of here for 3 months!

oh and i think i need to start being more private about my stuff....damn..some people be crazy and nosey! time to start using privacy settings and removing names!

I cant believe its mid-May!

Drs appt today...told her the weight of the baby and her reaction was "ALREADY?" hmmm different reactions from different doctors. confusing!

i also gained 5 lbs since my last 2 weeks visit. holy shit! i am up 32 lbs now and she wants me to chilllll. i can only gain 5 lbs from now till the labor. boo. no more eating for me.

i guess i shouldnt have had Checkers last night at 10PM? but the chicken melt and seasoned fries was sooo worth it!

Mother's Day

I had a nice weekend. Spent Saturday with my grandma. we went to babies r us to shop for a cousins shower. then spent the rest of the afternoon talking to my grandparents. family came over and we had dinner at High Pearl.

Sunday I spent 4 hours cleaning. I have no idea how or why, it just happened. I left to go to the bronx and spent the rest of the night there.

Jae was busy at the store, and due to some drama and issues, he wasn't even able to go see his own mom. I havent seen him in like 3 days.

Spending time with jae's family is always fun. I never had sisters so i feel like i gained 2. i never had nieces or nephews, and i gained 5. Being an aunt is awesome. I assume it's the same as being a grandparent, godparent or just someone really really close to your child. You get the play with them and enjoy them and at the end of the night, you get to give them back. win-win.

Jae's father is a strong man. He is tough but a good father and an even better grandfather. You can see how much he enjoys the kids. When he saw me and saw how big i was, he laughed and got a good kick out of it. He rubbed my belly and said (in english) "my grand daughter!". he was so proud...and he was just so happy he patted me on the butt. He's done this to his daughters before, so i was glad to see he was comfortable enough and felt close enough to add me to the group. he will show my baby a lot of love.

Jae's mom sings korean songs with the kids. she sings and they act it out. its really adorable. i have no idea what the song means but i cant wait to have my little girl singing and dancing with her.

The nephews and nieces are awesome. they are all so different so its fun seeing all the different sides of them. I love being their aunt...i find it to be so fun. I love talking to them and teaching them. I taught Philip how to turn on his skateboard. I taught Ryan how to jump on his butt on the trampoline. I taught Kristen how to make elmo cupcakes. These are small things, but to see their face when they accomplish something is precious. and to know i contributed to that pride is something i will always remember. On mothers day, philip felt the baby kick. It was something I really enjoyed sharing with him. I love when they come up to me and say "aunt jessica, i have a tae kwon do championship on april 23rd...are you coming?". I love when i walk in the door of their house and im instantly attacked with hugs. I love when we get out of a car and Ryan grabs my hand to hold it. These times won't last forever....and I really enjoy cherishing them for as long as they will last.

I remember how sad it was for me when Lauren and Evan both grew out of the young kid stage. They went on to lead their own lives, as nature intended it. But every once in a while, you get a glimpse of the impact you've had on their lives. The day of my shower, Lauren, in the middle of finals sent me a text "Congratulations Jessie! Sorry I couldn't be there for your shower but I have finals. I love you and I hope to see you soon". She's 21 now and graduating college in less than a week. Where has all the time gone?

If it's this hard for me as a cousin or aunt, how much harder will it be for me as a mother?

Growth Sono today...

baby is weighing in at 4 lbs. 7 oz and is in the 77% percentile.

neither tech nor doctor was concerned...and said she was perfectly normal and neither of them thought she was that big.

although at this rate, she should gain 1 lb every 2 weeks. which means, she will be over 8 lbs.

31 Weeks

Today my baby is the size of...


4 naval oranges

The baby looks like this now:


This reminds me of a picture I took of my belly...here I noticed the belly got deformed. I am not pressing down on the left side of the belly even though my hand is there, it really is lopsided like that. I felt like it was a shoulder or part of the back that was sticking out of the right side. Maybe an elbow?



To my pregnancy gripes in my post below, I forgot to mention all the rude comments people make about pregnant ladies. while it might not be intentional, they are usually thoughtless comments. for example "are you having twins?" "are you sure you're not ready to pop now" "are you sure you can't get any bigger?". yes i have gotten all these and more. screw you!

My baby is certainly sitting very low which, while very uncomfortable at times, is great because I hope that means she doesnt have far to go in labor. Woo hoo! And while the tech confirmed she is head down now, the other way I can tell is that I have pelvic pain!

This feels like someone kicked you in the groin and your pelvic bone is bruised. It's not fun. Its fine sitting but once you get up and try to move, it hurts. It really feels like its bruised, or sore. I heard this is because the ligaments and maybe even pelvis are stretching in preparation.

She is still an active little girl. Can't wait to meet her!

I will spend the rest of the month finishing up the nursery and doing more preparation, like packing hospital bag and such.

Text from Jae yesterday: "I'm almost done. Saw a little girl walking with her dad. Made me smile in this hectic day". AWWWW!

Man, so much to update. Where to begin? Ok, my shower was this past Sunday. It was fun, loved seeing everyone and mingling. I was surprised I got so many gifts. I got a lot of complaints I didnt put enough on my registry. And there were probably about 10-12 people missing from the shower. Anyhow, it was fun! Now, in my formal living room, I have this to attend to:



Fun or extra work? I say fun! Even though I have a lot of stuff to go through and have a lot of boxes to break down, its all worth it. The baby is already so spoiled! And to carry everything up and down the stairs to the nursery, I'll consider that much needed exercise. It's a win win!

Whats next? Oh yeah, at my last drs appt, she said I was measuring 2 weeks ahead. Instead of a 36 weeks sonogram, she wants me to go in at 32 weeks to get measured. This doesn't mean I am going to deliver early, and it doesnt even mean her calculations are correct. I will find out more in the next coming weeks. Most people are saying its fine, and that having a bigger baby is much more easy to take care of. That, I agree with. Its the pushing her out I'm worried about. hehe. at least i get to see her one extra time.



Next up: sleep.

Sleep has become torture. I cannot sleep for the life of me. I will fall asleep fairly fast, but I am tossing and turning throughout the night. and once I wake up, (usually around 6 when jae leaves), I cannot go back to sleep. So today I am in the office at 8am, after getting ready, fooling around with some gifts, making snacks and breakfast and getting gas! I sleep sitting up.... people ask me why. Becasue thats whats most comfortable. I tell them I cant sleep on my side. They ask me why? Because its not comfortable! I dont know what they want me to say haha. its only something i experienced, and i cant describe it. my belly is so heavy, it feels like its hanging. so i have to prop it up with a pillow if im on my side. i cant just move and twist like i used to. Only a pregnant lady would understand. I am sleep deprived already but they say thats natures way of prepping you for when the baby comes. great.

Pregnancy Redundancy

Pregnancy is REALLY redundant. you get asked the same questions over and over again. in the beginning, its "do you know what the sex is?". people asked me when i just announced the pregnancy! then once they find out, they move onto the next question "did you pick out a name?". then you tell them you wont be revealing. the move onto the next question. this is not just one person, this is most everyone. i totally understand, i ask the same things, but after you hear it 100 times, it gets really rote and you keep saying the same things over and over again and then i feel like a broken record and i feel like im repeating the same thing to the same person, even though im probably not. its tiring.

All through the pregnancy, there are also the typical questions you get asked everytime you see that same person "how are you feeling?" "are you tired" "is she kicking?" "how much maternity leave are you taking". again, i have the same story prepared for each question. then you get the times when you have to explain certain things, like maternity clothes and how they work. its a huge cycle. i feel like when you're pregnant you tell everyone everything because they ask. there is nothing i kept private... except the name. that one is for jae and i and that was also one of the reasons why i am holding the name back. i'll save something for just us.

Pregnancy belly

I think its natural for someone to see a pregnant belly and reach out to touch it. Actually, etiquette states you should always ask the lady before touching. I personally don't care, but can also understand why some people are touchy about this. Just because someone is carrying doesn't give people the right to touch them. If you weren't pregnant, no one would touch it, right? But people love to touch. not just touch but some people rub, feel, stare etc. Especially to those who have never seen a pregnant belly before, you can tell they are mesmorized. They touch as if trying to feel for something? Or touch like they are trying to grasp the concept in their head. I dont know. I dont mind people touching. I think its weird when they start rubbing. I have no idea what you're rubbing for or why....

Onto NPR topic (thats non pregnancy related)

May is an extremely busy month for us! I hope we survive.

This week, Jae is prepping for mothers day. we are expecting 800 orders. this is our bread and butter - biggest holiday of the year - so we hope for a good year. Poor jae will be working like crazy. On top of this, The flushing store is set to open Monday. so he needs to set up there as well! How much can one man do?

Well let me tell you- Brooks Brothers is still his client and he is working nights on the computer gig. On top of that we have 2 baby classes to attend this week (7pm-10pm) and one sonogram. Poor Jae. he is tired and sleep deprived as it is.... not only does he do this, but on the weekends and his day off, he does housework as well. He is currently building a shed...and in the past week or so, put up and painted a new fence for us.



After the shed is done, he is going to work on a patio for us so i can go outside and hang with the baby. =( what a good husband.

This weekend we have dinner with my family saturday and dinner with jaes family sunday (after a long day at the store).

Next week, the flushing store opens so the corporate trainers will be there and orders will be coming in as well as employees being trained. We have another 2 classes to attend as well. I have book club and dinner with Julie as well as Philip's black belt test.

The week after that, 2 more baby classes to attend (we had to split some classes up bc jae works the weekend) plus my brothers 30th birthday! And then my cousin's shower.

It finally tapers down toward the end of the month.

whew!